Shattered Soul
by CelticKitsune
Summary: Harry worked hard for his happy life, only for it to be snatched away in the blink of an eye. He is now struggling to keep from falling to far and loosing everything. 3Plus, Angst, more hurt than comfort, Character Death not Harry, MPreg
1. Prologue

This story was inspired largely by a conversation I had once with StarLight_Massacre, and a dislike for Draco.

Shattered Soul

Prologue

The war was over, and life could finally start getting back to normal. At least for most people things could go back to normal. But for Harry Potter, he had never had a normal life to begin with, and now that he didn't have anything to be fighting for, he didn't really know what he should be doing with himself. He and Ron had been allowed to become Aurors, it was the one thing that Harry felt good at, the one thing in his life that he had control over.

Life continued on for everyone else while Harry absorbed himself in work, he would take time off when people would comment that he might be working too hard, he took his normal days off even when he would have rather been at work. He spent time with the Weasleys, the only people that had ever truly been a family to him. But a year passed, then two years; Ron and Hermione were planning on getting married, Bill and Fleur already had a baby, Percy had even gotten married, and last that Harry had heard, Charlie had found himself a boyfriend over in Romania. Everyone's live was moving on, and all Harry could do is sit back and watch the family that had accepted him as their own, but that was the problem, Harry wasn't one of them, he was welcomed, and accepted among them, but he wasn't part of them.

He and Ginny had tried for a relationship, but between her playing quidditch, and him being an Auror, they had never had much time for each other. And Harry had never felt fully committed to that relationship. So when Ginny had broken things off, explaining that she had met someone else, Harry smiled and said he was happy for her. And he was, he was happy that she wouldn't tie herself down with him, happy that she was willing and able to move on without him pushing her away.

The problem now was the fact that Harry was alone; he lived alone and, even though he and Ron worked together, Harry felt as if he never saw his best friend any more. He was lonely and that was really how things got started. All it took was a chance meeting in Diagon Ally, and Harry was able to talk to someone who knew exactly how he felt, someone who had their whole life turned upside down after the war had ended. Though they could have a conversation without arguing, Harry would never go as far to say that he and Draco Malfoy were friends, there was too much history between them.

But things had still progressed between them, things had still gone too far. A drunken one night stand when Harry was feeling more lonely then he had ever felt. But it hadn't stopped there, it had become almost part of his routine; he would feel lonely and instead of going to see Ron or Hermione, or anyone else, he would find Malfoy, have a few drinks, only to wake up the next day next to the sleeping blond.

Harry didn't want to continue living his life like that, so the day that he found out the news, the day his life was once again turned upside down, only this time for the better, Harry made a promise to himself to change. He was determined to find a life for himself that he could be happy with.

To start off, Harry stopped going to see Malfoy on a regular basis, though he did do the right thing first and informed the blond man about his reasons why. Draco had accepted the news better than Harry had expected and Harry continued to stay in touch with him, but he never found himself waking up next to the blond man again; that life was over, and he would build himself a new life, a life for himself and his unborn child.

And that is exactly what Harry did, through his whole pregnancy, he finally went and got professional help, something he should have done after the war. Back then Ron and Hermione had both gone to mind healers, but Harry had refused. Now, however, he had someone to live for again, someone to fight for, and he wasn't going to let anyone, even himself, get in the way.

Even Draco had been supportive of him, something that Harry was very happy about. Harry knew that he was never going to be with Draco; he had slept with the other man, and now had a child with him, but they both knew that a relationship would never work out between the two of them. But Harry still allowed Draco to come over as often as he wanted to see the wonderful baby boy, the baby that had been named the Malfoy Heir. Artamo Sirius Malfoy; the name had surprised everyone and, when questioned about it, Harry would just answer that he had his reasons.

For a whole year Harry raised Artamo, and Draco took Artamo when Harry had work, and sometimes on the weekend if Harry was to tired after a long week of work. And though it wasn't perfect, and it still might not have been the life that Harry would have chosen for himself, the black haired man was happy. Happier than he could have ever thought possible.

However, like everything in Harry's life, his happiness never lasted long and everything he had spent building came crashing down around him in a single afternoon when he was informed that Draco was filing for full time custody of their son. Even though he was told that there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening, Harry still fought.


	2. Chapter 1

I feel like a warning for this fic is in order. It is not a happy story, and it may be a bit traumatizing for a few people.

Shattered Soul

Chapter 1

Harry felt numb right down to his very soul, he didn't know how it could have happened, how any of this could have happened.

"Harry, mate, talk to me," Ron said really worried about his best friend.

"Harry." Hermione spoke next, kneeling down in front of her friend, gently trying to coax him back to reality. "Harry, we will think of something, Malfoy won't win." She tied to keep the edge out of her voice, but it was really difficult to do when Harry was in such a state of shock at the moment.

"I already have," the silky voice of Draco Malfoy said and Harry tensed, looking up into the all too familiar grey eyes.

"Draco... please, you can't. We can work something out, just please don't-"

"I expect everything to be packed and ready for me to pick up by tomorrow morning. Be grateful that I am giving you that long, Potter," Draco said, narrowing his eyes at Harry when the smaller man stood up, looking to be fighting back tears.

"Draco," Harry pleaded.

"Tomorrow morning, Potter," Draco repeated and turned to walk away but paused glancing back over his shoulder at Harry. "Oh, and if you try to leave with what is rightfully mine, I will have you arrested," Draco said smoothly before turning completely and walking away.

Ron just barely managed to catch Harry as his friend's knees gave out. Looking from Harry to Hermione.

"Let's...let's get him home," Hermione said. "We won't stop fighting this Harry," she promised, and with the help of his two best friends, Harry was lead out of the room that they had all been in. Harry didn't pay attention to anything as they passed, and he hardly even noticed it when Ron held his arm a little tighter before apparating them back to The Burrow.

Harry looked up at the house that had always been like a second home to him. Standing up straighter and making sure his face was clear of any tears that might have escaped his eyes, he made his way quickly up the walk. Ron and Hermione let him go, both of them following at a slightly slower pace.

As soon as Harry entered the kitchen, he ears were assaulted with the sound of crying, he followed the sound to the living room where he saw Molly trying to hush a crying one year old.

"Being a bit fussy today?" Harry asked and started Molly.

"Oh, Harry, you're back! Yes, he woke up from his nap and hasn't stopped crying," she said and walked over to Harry, who held his arms out for the crying child. "I think he knows that something is going on," she said and Harry just nodded, cradling the crying baby close.

"Shh, it's okay, Artamo, I've got you now," Harry shushed and smiled weakly when the baby looked at him.

"Mama," the baby said, sniffling and taking comfort from Harry.

"How did things go today?" Molly asked, and Harry looked at her and his expression must have said it all because Molly looked shocked. "Oh, Harry. I'm so sorry... When?"

"Tomorrow morning," Harry forced out through the tightness in his throat. "Thank you so much for watching him today... but, I really should be getting home right now. I have some packing to do... and... and I want tonight..."

"I understand, Harry, don't worry about anything. You go and do what you have to, I'll bring some dinner by for you later so you don't have to worry about that either," Molly reassured him and Harry nodded his thanks, unable to speak any more. Making sure that he had the bag for Artamo, Harry turned and saw Ron and Hermione standing in the door.

"Want us to come with you?" Ron asked and Harry shook his head. "Alright, we'll be by in the morning though, you shouldn't be alone," Ron said and Harry could only nod his head, the numb feeling returning. But he couldn't focus on himself right now, his son still needed him.

"Thanks," Harry forced out, and making sure once again that he had everything, he flooed back to the small apartment that he had gotten only a few months ago. It had been big enough for him and his son, but now Harry wondered if he would be able to stand living here after Draco came tomorrow.

"Mama." The voice of his son brought Harry's focus onto the baby that was wiggling in his arms. Smiling Harry brought Artamo over to the rug in the small living room area before sitting down with him. Once on the floor, Artamo wiggled off Harry's lap and crawled over to where his toy box was, dumping it over and pulling toys out before he found what he had been looking for. Crawling back over to Harry with the brightly colored ball clutched in one hand, he handed it to Harry, who couldn't help but smile.

"Are you trying to cheer me up, Amo?" Harry asked, his son responding with baby talk before crawling off to get another toy. Harry watched as he did this several times before Harry truly smiled at his son, taking the ball that Artamo had given him and rolled it to him, only to have the baby boy throw it back giggling loudly when the ball bounced off Harry's head.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" Harry asked. "I've got something that's even more funny!" He started crawling after the squealing, laughing baby as Artamo tried to out crawl him. But Harry caught him in the end and started tickling him.

"Mama no! Mama!" Artamo squealed with laughter as Harry tickled him, soaking up every sound of baby giggles that his son offered him. He had this one last night with him, one more night before Draco came to take his son, their son, to Malfoy Manor, and Harry didn't know when, or even if Draco would allow him to see Artamo again. But Harry pushed those thoughts side, he refused to cry in front of his son, there would be plenty of time to cry later, after Artamo went to bed, when Harry was packing his things; there would be time to cry tomorrow after Draco took his son away; and even more time to cry in the days that would follow. But right now, tonight was his last night, and he would make sure that it was a good one.

-x

Harry forced himself to go through the normal morning routine that he had established with Artamo, getting breakfast ready, before giving the happy baby his bath and making sure that he was ready for the day; the whole while Harry ignored the bags sitting by the front door, ready and waiting for when Draco showed up. Harry found himself thinking once again about what was going to happen; he still didn't know if Draco would let Harry see their son after this.

"Mama!" Artamo demanded Harry's attention, banging one of his toys loudly on the kitchen floor. Harry smiled down at him.

"I'm sorry, Amo," he said, kneeling down to pick his son up just as the fireplace flared to life. Harry tightened his hold on Artamo automatically before he saw Ron and Hermione stepping into his small living room. Harry sighed and relaxed. "What are you two doing here?" he asked.

"I said we'd be by this morning," Ron said and looked around, a small frown on his face as he looked around the living room.

"What?" Harry asked noticing Ron's look.

"Nothing," Ron said and turned his attention back to Harry.

"Won-won!" Artamo said happily, wiggling frantically in Harry's arms in his attempt to get down so he could get to Ron faster.

Ron frowned. "I swear, when I find out who taught him to call me that..." the red head said, but walked over to take Artamo from Harry.

"He's only a year old, Ron, you can complain about it when he's five and still calling you that," Harry said, then seemed to realise what it was that he said; he turned away quickly and started picking up the little kitchen area. Ron and Hermione didn't say anything, just let Harry take his time to compose himself, while they took turns distracting Artamo.

"So what time is he supposed to be here?" Ron finally asked once Harry had finished the few breakfast dishes.

"I don't know, he just said in the morning," Harry replied and looked at the clock. "Knowing Draco though, he should be here within the next twenty minutes."

Hermione walked over and hugged her friend tightly. "We'll find a way to fix this, Harry," she promised. Harry allowed the hug, resting his head on her shoulder accepting the comfort that he was craving at the moment.

"Mama?" Artamo's questioning voice had Harry pulling back from Hermione quickly and shaking his head and wiping his eyes just in case there were any tears there.

"I can't do this, not right now. I won't break down in front of Amo," Harry said and went to take his son from Ron, cuddling him close. Neither Ron or Hermione said anything as Harry sat and played with Artamo, who was happy to have his mother's full attention.

It was only fifteen minutes later that there was a knock on the door; Harry knew who it was, but he didn't want to answer it. He held Artamo a little closer to him as he stood up, ignoring Hermione's offer to take the one year old. There was another knock on the door and Harry sighed. "I'm coming," he called out and made his way towards the door, pausing once more with his hand on the doorknob. Taking a deep breath Harry opened the door and looked at the man standing on the other side.

Draco looked as well put together as he always did, in his tailor made robes that fit him perfectly, his hair slicked back, nothing out of place. While Harry stood there, wearing his run down jeans, and a t-shirt that had some unknown stain on it, most likely left there from Artamo, who enjoyed throwing food at Harry whenever he could get away with it.

The two men stood there, neither saying a word, but the silence was quickly broken as soon as Artamo recognised who it was standing in the doorway.

"Dada!" the baby wiggled, reaching his tiny arms out for Draco. It had been weeks since the baby had seen his father, ever since this whole thing had started, Harry hadn't allowed Draco to come over.

Harry had a brief moment where he thought about slamming the door in Draco's face, taking his son and apparating out of there without any warning. But Draco moved forward and gently took Artamo from him, smiling at the happy, babbling baby.

Looking from his son, to Harry, then the bags sitting on the floor Draco smiled a little more. "I am impressed, Potter, I assumed that you would have made me wait while you got everything packed," Draco said.

"And what good would that have done? You would have just taken Artamo and left without any of his things," Harry said bitterly. Draco raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"If I didn't want to bring his things with me, I wouldn't have told you to pack them," Draco pointed out, shifting Artamo in his arms when his son tried to grab his hair. "You don't touch Daddy's hair," Draco said sternly; it was something that Harry had heard Draco tell the baby often, as Artamo always seemed fascinated by Draco's hair.

Draco pulled his wand out and pointed it at the bags sitting on the floor behind Harry, shrinking them so he could carry them in his pocket. "He has everything he needs?" Draco asked returning his attention to Harry.

Harry nodded slowly. "Draco..."

The blond man sighed when Artamo tried to grab his hair again and held him a little lower on his hip, so the tiny hands wouldn't be able to reach his hair. "I know what you are going to ask, and for right now, the answer is no." Draco watched Harry's eyes widen.

"Why? Can you tell me that much at least? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you taking him away from me?" Harry asked, doing his best to stay calm, but it was getting harder to do when he knew that in just a few moments Draco would be leaving with Artamo, and now he was being told he wouldn't be allowed to see his son.

"Did you not understand the explanation last time?" the blond man questioned. "Let me spell it out for you again, I am married to Astoria, she is unable to have children. But because of one mistake that I made with you, I am still able to have an heir to the Malfoy name. I do not trust you to raise him properly. Perhaps when he is older I will allow you to see him then, when he is old enough to understand things," Draco said. "Now, I suggest you say your goodbyes because I have business elsewhere."

Harry stared at Draco. He didn't know what to do; he had fought for custody of Artamo and lost, he had been seen as an unfit and unstable parent, and if he were to attack Draco and run off with Artamo, he would just prove them right. Then if they ever found him he really wouldn't be able to see his son ever again. Shoving all thoughts of snatching Artamo away from Draco aside, Harry reached out to gently take his son back from Draco, hugging him as tightly as he dared.

"Amo, you're going to go with daddy now," Harry said feeling his throat tighten up and tears well up in his eyes. Holding Artamo so that he could now stare at his son's face, to commit it to memory. He had plenty of pictures of his baby, but this was the last time he would be able to see him in person, the last time he would be able to hold him for who knew how long.

"Mama, no," Artamo said, his little face pulled into a frown as a tiny hand reached up to poke at Harry's face as the tears started to fall. "Mama no," Artamo said again, and it took a moment for Harry to realise what his baby boy was doing. This was the first time that Harry had ever cried in front of his son, and his baby boy was doing the best he could to comfort Harry. This made Harry's chest tighten and he held Artamo close again.

Draco stood there and watched Harry with Artamo for nearly five minutes, before he stepped forward, gently easing the baby from Harry's hands. "Alright, Artamo, it's time to go. Say goodbye," Draco said, glad that he didn't have to fight to get Harry to let the baby go.

Artamo blinked when he was suddenly taken away from his crying mother. Looking around in confusion he looked at Draco, then back to Harry. "Dada no! Mama!" Artamo reached out for Harry. The green eyed man watched, a hand over his mouth as he kept himself from breaking down; Artamo was still here, he couldn't break down. "Mama! Mama!"

"Goodbye, Potter," Draco said. Harry didn't close the door, he just stood there and watched as Draco turned and walked away, taking his son with him. The baby was now crying and screaming as he was taken away from his mother. Harry felt like a horrible person when he covered his ears to try and block out the sound of his son crying; Artamo was calling for him and Harry wasn't allowed to go to him now, his son would call for him and Harry would never be able to answer that call again.

When the sound of the crying baby could no longer be heard, Harry collapsed where he stood and let himself go. Huge sobs shook his body as he finally broke, Ron and Hermione were by his side then. Hermione closed the door and put up silencing spells so that neighbors wouldn't hear and come to investigate, before she sat on the floor next to Harry, Ron on his other side as they tried to do what they could to comfort their broken friend.

"Harry, you need to sit up for me," Hermione said softly as she pulled a potion out of her pocket. "Please, Harry," she coaxed. Harry, however, just curled up tighter, as everything he had built in the last couple of years fell apart, and there was nothing that he could do about it.

With Ron's help, Hermione managed to get Harry to drink the potion, none of them moving from the floor in the front hallway as Harry continued crying, though the harsh sobs had stopped. They remained there until Harry had fallen asleep from pure exhaustion, having not slept the night before, added to the emotional trauma he was now going through.

"We should bring him home with us," Ron said. "I don't like the idea of leaving him in this place alone." Ron looked at Hermione, who nodded.

"I don't think he'll want to leave just yet though, but we'll make sure he's not alone. I'm going to set up an appointment with his mind healer as well," Hermione said and Ron sighed as he gently shifted Harry so he could lift him from the floor and move him to the sofa.

"I can't believe Malfoy would do something like this. I mean, we all knew he was a bastard, but to just take Artamo like that..." Ron said softly, not wanting to wake Harry.

"I had thought that he'd changed, after the war I mean, he and Harry had seemed like they were good friends," Hermione replied.

"Maybe Malfoy was just using Harry, maybe he had already known that Astoria couldn't have any kids, and was using Harry-"

"If that were really the case," Hermione said, cutting Ron off before he could really get to far into his rant, "then all he would have had to do was ask Harry; even something like that Harry would have helped Malfoy with. The pregnancy was as much of a surprise to Malfoy as it was to Harry. I mean, no one even knew he was a carrier until he was pregnant," Hermione reminded the red-head.

"Malfoy is still a bastard for doing this to Harry," Ron growled.

"I agree with you, Ron. I'm not defending Malfoy, all I am saying is that this may not have been premeditated," Hermione pointed out. Ron sighed and nodded.

"I know, but it doesn't make any of this better to deal with." Ron looked down at his best friend.

"I'm going to call his mind healer. Stay with him until I get back?" Hermione requested and Ron nodded, sitting down in the chair as he let Harry sleep, hoping his best friend stayed asleep for a long time, because Ron didn't know what he should do to help him. The only thing he knew for sure was that Harry was not going to be staying in this apartment alone.

-x

Harry remained asleep for most of the day, waking up to hear the sound of quiet conversation coming from the kitchen area. It only took a moment for reality to hit him again, and Harry curled up tighter on the sofa. Someone had draped a blanket over him and Harry pulled it tighter around himself.

"Harry?" It was Molly's voice and Harry couldn't answer her, his throat and chest felt too tight, it was difficult to breathe. But when he felt the warm hand touch his shoulder and he was gently coaxed into sitting up, he stared at the worried face of Molly for a moment, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"...he's gone..." Harry choked out before he practically collapsed against Molly. The woman he had come to think of as a second mother wrapped her arms around him as he completely broke down for the second time that day.

"I swear I'm going to kill Malfoy if I ever see him again," Neville said from his spot at the kitchen table. He hated seeing one of his friends in so much pain, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

"I'm already working on building a case to try and get Amo back," Hermione said looking across the table at Neville. "But it's going to be a long while before anything can even happen, and even then all we may be able to get Harry is visitation rights." Hermione sighed.

"Why can't he have visitation rights now?" Neville frowned. "I mean, Harry is technically the mother..."

"He was declared unstable," Ron growled. "And looking at him now, there's no way we'd be able to convince anyone differently. Not to mention because Harry agreed and signed the papers declaring Artamo the Malfoy heir; by pureblood rights, as he was not engaged or married to Malfoy, Harry basically signed away any rights to Artamo," Ron pointed out.

"How was Harry supposed to know any of that?" Hermione snapped and Ron shrugged.

"He is from a pure blood family; no one would have questioned it, or stopped him from doing it, mostly because they would have assumed that Harry already knew. And if you remember, every time we brought it up to him, Harry would get annoyed and say that he had his reasons for making Artamo a Malfoy instead of a Potter," Ron said looking back over to where his mother was still hugging Harry.

"When is Harry's appointment with the mind healer?" Neville asked looking at Hermione.

"I managed to get one for tomorrow afternoon. I just hope Harry agrees to go..." she said worriedly.

"We'll help get him there, even if we have to drag him." Neville knew that the worst thing for Harry to do right now would be to stop seeing the mind healer; if the healer could declare Harry to be a fit parent, it would make it easier to get visitation rights at the very least. "Have you told him yet?" Neville asked looking from Ron to Hermione. Both of them shook their head and Neville sighed standing up. "I'll tell him," he said and went over to the sofa.

Neville's heart broke as he looked at Harry. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same person who had killed Voldemort; Neville supposed that even the strongest person could only be pushed so far before they broke. "Harry." Neville spoke softly as he knelt down in front of his friend. Harry didn't look at him, but he had gone quiet so Neville continued speaking. "Hermione set up an appointment for you, to see your mind healer tomorrow."

"No." Harry's voice was soft, and slightly muffled from still being wrapped tightly in Molly's arms. The red-headed woman slowly lowered her arms and gently pushed Harry back so she could look at him.

"Harry, I think it would be a good idea if you spoke to your healer about this," Molly said and Harry shook his head.

"It's because I was seeing a mind healer to begin with, that's why they said I was a danger to Artamo..." Harry said.

"Mate, there were other reasons too, all of them lies, or over exaggerated, but the mind healer has helped," Ron said as he came to stand behind the sofa. Harry glanced up at him and sighed shaking his head.

"I don't want to go." Harry knew it would be pointless to argue.

"One of us can go with you," Neville offered. Harry turned to look at him next and tried to give him a small smile, but it just seemed far too forced.

"Thanks, Nev..." he sighed, wiping his eyes as he forced himself to stop crying.

"It's going to be okay, Harry, you're not alone in this," Neville said and stood up.

"He's right," Molly said, running her fingers through Harry's hair. "Now, I brought some dinner over, I know you are most likely not hungry, but I will insist that you try and eat something. It will do no good if you get sick now," she said and stood up going to busy herself in the kitchen. Harry remained sitting on the sofa for a while longer as he collected himself; he knew that he wasn't alone, but without his son here, there was going to be something missing until he got him back.

Neville stood up before taking the seat next to Harry. "You know that Ron and Hermione are going to insist that you move in with them now," Neville said.

Harry sighed and nodded. "I know, I'm not going. I can't leave this place, not yet," Harry said, lowering his head.

"That's what I told them. I suggested that maybe you could move in with me. It would still give you some space, but you wouldn't be alone which would make them worry less." Neville smiled when Harry looked at him. "You don't have to answer now, but the offer is there; my place is big enough and you wouldn't have to give up this apartment."

"I'll think about it, Nev," Harry promised. He didn't think he could move out of this place, even though he had only been here for less than a year, it had made it his home. But as he looked around the place now, it didn't feel like it was his place any more. He would think about Neville's offer, and see how he felt after a week or two.

TBC

And there is the first heart breaking chapter. Things are going to get worse before they get better for poor Harry, but there WILL be a happy ending for him. He just has to go through a lot of shit before he gets his well deserved happy ending.


	3. Chapter 2

Warning, another not to happy chapter for poor Harry.

Shattered Soul

Chapter 2

Harry's visit to the mind healer had gone as well as could be expected. The healer had understood the reason behind Harry's attitude and refusal to talk, and had rescheduled another appointment for the following week. That one had been just as bad, if not worse than the last, as Harry was refusing to move out of his apartment.

Two weeks passed, then three, and by the fourth week Harry had stopped going to his healer; it wasn't helping anyway. The only thing that would help is if he got his son back.

Harry locked his floo against any visitors; he knew that his friends meant well but he couldn't bear to be around anyone at the moment. This, of course, only lasted for three days before Neville had come by, using the spare key that Ron had given him to get through the front door of the apartment.

Finding Harry was easy enough, as the other man was sitting on the sofa; there was parchment on the table in the kitchen and crumpled up discarded parchment all over the floor. Picking up one of the papers, Neville straightened it out; there were only a few lines of text written on it, begging and pleading for his son back. Letting the paper fall to the floor again, Neville mad his way over to Harry, who hadn't moved at all.

"Harry?" Neville said, coming to stand in front of his friend. Harry didn't look at him, or even acknowledge that there was someone else in the room.

Neville moved to kneel down in front of Harry and he noticed for the first time that the other man was holding two things in his hand, one was a picture slightly crinkled from Harry holding it so tightly, the other was a small stuffed toy, or at least the remains of one.

"Harry?" Neville said again as he looked up into the face of the once strong man. Green eyes blinked slowly and looked from the picture to Neville. "Harry, what happened?" Neville asked.

"I got angry..." Harry's voice was horse, as if he had done a lot of screaming recently. "I forgot to pack Amo's toy... I found it under the sofa," Harry explained, looking back at the stuffed animal. "I tore it up..." Tears stared falling then as Harry curled up on himself. "I was so angry, Neville!" Harry cried harder.

"Harry, it's okay to be angry about this. You worked so hard to get where you are." Neville put his hands over Harry's gently taking the ruined toy away from his sobbing friend.

"What if Amo had been here?" Harry asked looking at Neville with wide eyes, and Neville now understood a bit better what Harry was so upset about.

"He wasn't here, Harry, and, if he had been, you wouldn't have had a reason to be so angry." Neville put the toy aside, standing up so that he could sit on the sofa next to Harry.

"But he could have been here!" Harry argued. "What if I lost my temper like that with him around? Or if I had gotten that angry with him!" A shudder ran through Harry's body at the thought. "Amo is better off with Draco... he's already a better parent than I am."

Neville's eyes widened and he grabbed Harry's shoulders, forcing the smaller man to look at him. "Don't say that, Harry! You love, Artamo, and I don't believe for a second that you would ever do anything to hurt him, even by accident. Malfoy might be a good parent but you will always be worth twelve of him," Neville said, using the same words that Harry had said to him all those years ago. Harry had always believed that he was worth more than what he had given himself credit for and it had taken a long time for Neville to finally believe that himself, now he could finally return the favor to Harry.

The green eyed man stared at him, the tears still flowing freely down his face. Reaching up, Neville brushed a few of the tears away. "Come on, Harry," he said and stood up, pulling Harry to his feet too.

"Where are we going...?" Harry asked as Neville pulled him into the bedroom. He was very confused as Neville looked around before pulling out his wand; Harry stood there and watched for a moment as Neville started packing a suitcase. "What are you doing?" Harry asked, frowning.

"You're coming to live with me," Neville said. "You can't refuse either, this apartment is depressing, and is no good for you."

"I'm not giving this place up!" Harry said, hurrying forward to unpack what had already been put in the suitcase. Neville, however, caught hold of his hands and stopped him.

"You don't have to give up the apartment, but you can't stay here on your own either. Everyone is worried about you, Harry. Please, just let me do this one thing to help you?" Neville requested. Harry wanted to tell him no, to throw Neville out and lock himself back up in this place, but Harry knew if he did that, he truly would never see his son again.

Harry nodded shakily. "O-okay..." he said and Neville smiled at him before returning to packing a few more of Harry's belongings.

"I probably just saved you," Neville said as he glanced over his shoulder towards Harry. "Ron and Hermione were all set to storm this place, probably half the Weasleys as well," he told him and was rewarded with a small twitch of Harry's lips. Not a smile, but probably the closest he had come to one in weeks.

Harry didn't help with the packing, and Neville didn't mind, knowing that Harry wasn't really doing this willingly. Neville, however, only packed the one bag, deciding that it would be enough of a start to just get Harry out of there and wanting to do so as quickly as possible, before Harry could take back his reluctant agreement. "Alright, is there anything here that you're going to need immediately?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I can always just come back and grab stuff as I need it," Harry said.

"Alright, let's go get you settled, then call your mind healer to keep those appointments going." Neville left the bedroom first and waited for his friend to follow.

-x

Harry looked around the room that he had been given, it wasn't overly large, a single bed that was just barely large enough for two people, if you didn't mind sleeping very close to someone that is. There was no desk, but a small wardrobe that was magically enchanted to make the inside large enough for Harry to fit all the clothes he currently had with him.

Two decent size windows looked out into the spacious back yard where Neville had a fire pit surrounded by a few chairs. Harry sighed and turned away from the window and looked at his suitcase, he hadn't wanted to pack, and he really wasn't in the mood to unpack anything at the moment either. All he really wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep, however knowing that Neville wouldn't let him get away with that Harry opened his suitcase and started putting his clothes in the wardrobe, unpacking as slowly as he could so he wouldn't have to leave his bedroom.

Half an hour later all his clothes were away, and Harry tucked the suitcase under the bed before sitting down on the soft mattress. Letting out another long sigh before laying down to stare at the ceiling, he had just started to let his mind wander when there was a knock at the door. "It's open," Harry said not bothering to get up.

Neville opened the door and looked over at Harry. "I have someone bringing dinner over, you should try and eat something," Neville said.

"Not hungry," was Harry's reply.

"When was the last time you ate?" Neville inquired and Harry sat up to glare at him.

"Sometime yesterday, I'm not hungry Neville, I let you drag me here, isn't that enough?" Harry snapped.

"Harry, we both know that if you really hadn't wanted me to bring you here, you could have stopped me," Neville said with a small smile. "I'm not saying you have to be sociable or anything, but locking yourself in here isn't going to do anyone any good. Food will be here in about another twenty minutes, I'll bring some up for you okay?" Neville asked.

Harry fell back onto the bed and continued staring at the ceiling. "Fine," he finally answered, he felt bad for snapping at Neville, he was only trying to help after all. The door started closing and Harry sat up on his elbows. "Hey Nev," Harry called out and Neville paused looking back at him. "I know I'm not all that grateful for it at the moment, but...thanks for dragging me here," Harry said.

Neville nodded. "No problem Harry," he said and left the room closing the door behind him letting Harry have a little more time alone.

-x

The last few weeks had been more tiring than Draco had expected them to be. Granted, he knew that having a baby in the manor that things would change but he hadn't expected this much hassle. He had, after all, taken Artamo over the weekend a few times over the past year and his son had never acted up quite the way he was now.

Artamo was throwing temper tantrums, he had not slept through the night once in the past four weeks, always waking up and crying for Harry. It had gotten to the point last week that Draco couldn't deal with any more, and so he had ordered a house elf to look after Artamo during the night. However, Artamo didn't seem to like house elves at all, which left Draco to continue working taking care of his upset son.

It was now late afternoon, Artamo had finally gone down for his nap, putting up minimal fuss this time as the one year old was exhausted from being up most of the night crying for his mother. Draco couldn't help but wonder how Harry had done it on his own. Though the blond reminded himself that Harry had had the whole Weasley family there to help, and Draco just had the house elves, who were useless, and Astoria, who had spent the month visiting her family and had yet to even see the blond baby. That, however, was going to change today, as Astoria was due home late that evening, something Draco was grateful for, silently hoping that with Astoria home things would get a little easier.

In the meantime, while Artamo was sleeping, Draco went to his study, deciding he would at least attempt to get some work done before his son was awake and crying again. Calling a house elf and snapping an order at the creature to get him when Artamo awoke, Draco locked himself in his study.

It only took half an hour before the house elf appeared in front of him. "Pipsy is sorry to be disturbing master, but the young master is being awake and crying."

Pinching the brim of his nose Draco nodded. "Fine," he said and stood up, storming out of his study to the room he had had set up for his son. The one year old was sitting in the middle of his crib, his face red from crying, his cheeks stained with tears. Letting out a long sigh, Draco went over and picked up the screaming child.

"It's alright, Artamo," Draco said, trying to sound soothing, but Artamo just screamed louder, wiggling to get away from Draco.

"Mama!" Artamo screamed kicking his little legs.

"Your mother isn't here right now, Amo," Draco said, gently rocking his son until the crying slowly stopped. Checking the time Draco was happy to see that it had only taken him twenty minutes to calm his son down this time. Taking it as a sign that things were getting better, he carried his son downstairs to the sitting room where there were a few toys that had been left in there earlier that morning.

"Artamo, you sit here and play for a little while," Draco ordered as he set his son down on the floor. Artamo was having none of that though and his crying started before Draco had even let him go completely. Picking him back up before the crying could really get started, Draco let out a weary sigh. "I don't know what you want," Draco admitted as his son's small fists clutched at his shirt.

"...Mama..." Artamo sniffed.

"Your mother is not here," Draco said again, feeling his irritation rising. A month; he had had his son here a whole month and every day he had to go through this, had to tell his son over and over again that Harry wasn't there. And wouldn't be around for a very long time if he had any say about the matter, which he did, Draco would silently add.

It was another forty-five minutes before Draco could put Artamo down without his son starting to cry, or clinging to him tighter. Draco smiled as he watched his son start to crawl around the room, and he sat down on the settee; Draco watched the blond boy for a moment before he summoned his work to him. If Artamo remained playing quietly, he could get some more work down here in the sitting room.

-x

Astoria let out a sigh as she looked around the Entrance Hall to Malfoy Manor, where she had just apparated into. She had once thought this house to be so grand and beautiful but sometimes she felt as if the darkness this house once held had seeped into the walls themselves. The house was far too quiet, and lonely a lot of the time, it was why she visited home as often as she could manage. Though she didn't often stay a month like she had this visit; however, her mother had been ill and Astoria hadn't been able to make herself come home, knowing that the only thing that awaited her was her far too busy husband.

Leaving her bags where they were, knowing that a house elf would take care of them, Astoria went in search of Draco. She stopped by his study first, assuming that's where he would be as that's where he usually was, only to find it empty. Frowning, she went to the dining room, as it was close enough to dinner time that he might have been in there. Finding that empty as well, her frown deepened and called for a house elf.

"Mistress be calling?" the elf asked as it bowed low to the floor.

"Where is Draco?" she asked and the elf looked up at her.

"Master is being in the sitting room with the young master," the elf answered and Astoria gave the elf a curious look before turning and heading towards the sitting room.

She stopped in the doorway, staring at the unusual sight of Draco sitting on the settee, his paperwork on the coffee table in front of him. The blond man looking up every now and again to look at the child playing on the floor.

"Draco?" Astoria came into the room, giving the blond man a curious look before her attention returned to the blond baby.

"You're home earlier than I expected," Draco said as he stood to greet his wife.

"My mother insisted that I had done enough to help and that I should be getting home." Astoria explained. "Why is Artamo here?" she questioned, frowning at the smirk her husband gave her.

"I won the custody battle, Artamo belongs to us now," Draco said, obviously very pleased about this. Astoria's frown deepened. "Why do you look unhappy about this?" he asked. "This is the only way that I would have been able to have a legitimate heir to the Malfoy name. It was either get Amo here or have our marriage terminated, and that was not something I was willing to do," Draco said firmly.

Astoria smiled at that and kissed Draco. "I am happy, Draco," she assured him, "though I am also a little concerned. What if Potter tries to get Artamo back? He is the child's mother after all. Not to mention the savior of the wizarding world," Astoria said.

Draco nodded his understanding. "As of right now, Potter has been declared an unstable and unfit parent. He has a temper, and even a specialist mind healer said that considering how Potter was raised, and what he had to go through in the war, there is no telling what could trigger a violent reaction from him. Maybe not now, but when Artamo is older," Draco explained. "Even if Potter manages to get permission for another custody hearing, it won't be for a long while. Artamo belongs here," Draco said and Astoria smiled again before going over to where Artamo was sitting on the floor.

"Hello there, Amo," she said and smiled at the boy, sitting down gracefully on the floor in front of the year old baby, who looked at her curiously.

Blinking at this new person in front of him, as if studying her for a moment, Artamo held out the blue ball he had clutched in his tiny hands. "Ba," he said and Astoria smiled, taking the ball that was handed to her.

"Is this your ball?" she asked, engaging the child in conversation while Draco went back to his spot on the settee. He felt more happy than he could have ever thought possible. Looking at Astoria interacting with his son, and Artamo, who seemed to be taking a liking to his new mother, Draco had a sense of peace. He felt that his life was now complete, and he would do anything now to keep that peace he had stolen.

TBC

So yes, Draco is a complete bastard. And I can say it is this stories fault that I have not continued Contract Under Love yet, because I've just been so pissed off at him. Chapter 3 is a little over half way done, so keep an eye out for that!


	4. Chapter 3

Shattered Soul

Chapter 3

Harry didn't know what to think any more, his whole world had come crashing down around him, and he was expected to just pick up the pieces and move on. He knew his friends meant well, he knew that Neville had only been helping by dragging him here, but Harry really didn't know what to do.

Despite how comfy the bed was, Harry was unable to sleep, but that was nothing new, as he had been unable to sleep for a few days now. His arms ached to hold his son again, to hear his laugh, to tell him stories. Harry made no move to wipe away the tears that fell down his cheeks, while he sat on the windowsill, staring out into the beautiful garden. Had he seen it at any other time, he might have enjoyed the view, but he took no pleasure in it.

Turning away from the window when he heard a soft knock on the door, Harry silently debated with himself if he should just ignore it, but hearing the knock again Harry knew that Neville was going to be persistent, until he opened the door.

Letting out a soft sigh, Harry pushed himself off the windowsill, walking across the room to unlock the door. However, when Harry opened the door, intending to tell Neville as politely as he could to leave him alone, he froze when he saw that it wasn't Neville standing on the other side of the door.

"Who are you?" Harry asked, taking a step back, reaching for his back pocket where he kept his wand. He didn't draw it, though only because he was sure that if someone was going to attack him, they wouldn't have knocked on the door first.

"Blaise Zabini. Neville is a bit busy at the moment so I was nominated to come and drag you out of bed and inform you that if you're not downstairs in twenty minutes, Neville is going to call the Weasleys and inform them that you've decided to starve yourself and become a hermit," Blaise said. He had such a straight face as he said it, that Harry couldn't quite tell if he was actually serious or not, though Harry was fairly sure that if he didn't emerge from his room sooner or later, Neville would in fact call Molly over .

"I'll be down shortly," Harry said, moving to close the door in the other man's face, only to have Blaise put his foot up against the door, stopping it from moving. "I would suggest you move that foot, unless you want it blasted off," Harry said, narrowing his eyes at this man.

"I don't think Neville would like you injuring one of his friends," Blaise said, "And I was given instructions to make sure you came downstairs with me," Blaise informed him with a smile.

Harry glared at Blaise, remembering him now as one of Draco's closer friends in school, another Slytherin. "Why are you here? Did Draco send you to find out how miserably pathetic I am? How the fuck do you even know Neville?" Harry asked, not sure how Neville, of all people, had become friends with a Slytherin.

"Easy there, Potter," Blaise held his hands up. "First I think I should mention that I haven't spoken to Malfoy since sixth year, so there is no reason for him to send me anywhere, least of all to see how miserable you are. And as for how I know Neville, that is a bit of a long story, one I will gladly share with you over breakfast," Blaise said. "Unless you would rather the whole Weasley army descend upon your room?" Blaise raised an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry sighed, closing his eyes before nodding his head slowly. "Fine, lead the way," he said, gesturing for Blaise to go first. The slightly taller man waited until Harry had opened the door further before moving his foot out of the way. Turning, he started leading Harry downstairs, toward the kitchen where Neville was waiting for them.

Harry followed after him, though he was still skeptical on the whole idea of Neville being friends with a Slytherin, but he couldn't imagine Neville letting anyone he didn't trust just wander around his house. Letting out another sigh, hoping that someone would explain that to him, Harry decided to get a good look at his surroundings; he hadn't gotten much of a look at the house the day before when Neville had brought him here, so Harry took the time to look now. He saw pictures hanging on the wall, some painted, others were pictures taken with a camera and framed. Upon looking a little closer, Harry also noticed that some of the pictures were magical, and some of them obviously weren't.

Harry had an easier time recognising people in the photographs, than he did the portraits. There were pictures of the whole Weasley family, and almost everyone in Gryffindor as well. But as he continued looking, there were quite a few of others that Harry didn't know, but some of them he was sure had gone to Hogwarts. The thing that surprised Harry the most though, was the fact that Neville knew so many people.

Harry paused to look at a picture, it was a group picture, it appeared to be at some sort of party, Ron and Hermione were even there, and Harry frowned trying to remember why he hadn't been at this same party, with so many people. The picture didn't move, but it was easy to see that everyone in it was extremely happy.

"Harry, you're awake," Neville said. Harry turned to see his friend standing in the doorway. "I hope Blaise didn't wake you up..." Neville said, giving a look to Blaise, who held his hands up.

"All I did was knock on his door, he was already awake, I swear it," Blaise defended himself and Neville nodded once before looking back at Harry.

"I made you breakfast, just some toast and eggs, figured you wouldn't have much of an appetite today, but you should still eat something," Neville said.

"I'm really not hungry, Neville," Harry admitted, turning away from the picture he had been looking at. "But I will try and eat something, if it will stop you from calling Molly over here," Harry said, with a small smile.

"You know we're just worried about you, right, Harry?" Neville asked, and Harry nodded.

"I know, Nev, I just…" Sighing. Harry shook his head, not really wanting to explain himself to Neville, not when Blaise was still standing there.

"Alright, just try and eat, and then we'll get ready for your appointment," Neville said, ushering Harry into the kitchen where there was a plate of food already set out for him.

"What appointment?" Harry asked, taking his seat and looking down at the small helping of food that Neville had given him. He really had no desire to eat, in fact just looking at the food made him feel sick.

"Your mind healer appointment," Neville said, sitting down to eat his own breakfast.

"I'm not going back to that mind healer," Harry insisted, ripping his toast in half and taking a small bite.

"Hermione thought you might say that, so I've contacted another friend of mine, she's a very good mind healer, and she makes house calls too, so you don't even have to leave," Neville said, watching as Harry started eating his food.

"I really don't want to talk to anyone, Neville," Harry insisted, trying to be as polite as he possibly could, but he could already feel his anger building up at the fact that once again, people were making choices for him. "I'm going to be fine, I can get through this," Harry said.

Blaise snorted, as he too sat down at the small table, and Harry glared at him. "Something funny, Zabini?" Harry snapped.

"I'm not laughing at you, Potter, it's just hearing someone say they're going to be fine like that, when it's painfully obvious to anyone looking at you, that you're not fine. You just lost your kid, to Draco of all people. I don't know much about you, but I never thought you were the kind to just sit back and let that happen," Blaise said, watching as Harry stopped eating, the anger melting away to reveal the shell of a broken man.

"Blaise!" Neville snapped, glaring at him, before looking to Harry. "We know you didn't let Draco take Artamo," Neville said, reaching over to rest his hand on Harry's arm.

"It was my fault though," Harry said softly, as if Blaise had just made Harry realise something he hadn't before. "I could have stopped it… I could have done something, if I had, Amo would still be here," Harry said.

Neville sent another glare toward Blaise, before turning his attention back toward Harry. "Harry, it is NOT your fault, Draco did this to hurt you in the worst possible way. You did everything you could to keep him, and now we are going to do everything we can to get him back, but you have to work for it, Harry. You have to let us help you," Neville said, gently squeezing Harry's arm.

"I… I need to be alone," Harry said, pushing his plate of food away, before standing and hurrying out of the room. Blaise and Neville watched him go, and as soon as Neville heard Harry running up the stairs, he rounded on Blaise.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Wait, don't answer that, you weren't thinking!" Neville said, doing his best not to raise his voice, the last thing Harry needed right now was to hear them arguing. "Here I am trying to do my best, to help a friend, and you sit there and tell him that it's HIS fault that he lost his son? I thought you had more brains than that Blaise!" Neville narrowed his eyes.

"I was just pointing out, that him acting like this isn't normal for him," Blaise said. "I probably should have worded it a bit better though," he admitted.

"You think?" Neville huffed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, Blaise, I know you were trying to help, but thinking before you open your mouth would be a good thing," Neville said. "Look, can you just leave now? Come back later when Theo isn't busy, you can work on the wards then."

"Yeah, okay," Blaise huffed "I'll see you later then. Tell Potter I didn't mean what I said," Blaise said, heading out of the kitchen to the sitting room where the fireplace was.

"I think it would be better if you told him that yourself," Neville called after his tan friend, letting out a long sigh and looking toward the ceiling.

-x

Harry was lying down on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. He was angry enough where he wanted nothing more than to go back downstairs and fire off a few good curses at Blaise. But at the same time, now that he was back in the isolation of his room, he really didn't have the motivation to get up and leave it again.

A soft knock on his door had Harry groaning softly, turning his head a little so that his voice wouldn't be muffled by the pillow. "I want to be alone," Harry said, before turning his head again.

"I know, Harry, but I really need to talk to you," Neville said, and Harry let out a long sigh. Neville didn't wait for Harry to answer this time, before opening the door and coming inside. "Harry?"

"What is it, Neville?" Harry asked, not bothering to turn his face away from his pillow again.

"I wanted to apologise for what Blaise said," Neville explained, "sometimes he doesn't think before he speaks; it's one of his major faults, but he's really not a bad guy," Neville said.

"I don't really care," Harry said, lifting himself up into a sitting position so that he could look at Neville. "He only said what he saw to be true, and in reality, it is my fault."

"No, it's not," Neville argued, but Harry shook his head.

"Neville, if I had listened to a single thing that Ron was trying to tell me, after Artamo was born, I would have never named him the Malfoy heir," Harry said. "If I had even stopped to think about it for a second, I would have never even told Malfoy I was pregnant, and even if I had still done all that, I could have fought harder, I could have found a mind healer that would have fought for me, and not been on Malfoy's payroll," Harry said, looking down at his clenched hands. "There are a hundred other things I could have done, including taking Artamo and running. I did nothing and I let that bastard take my son, so yeah, it is my fault," Harry said, looking back up at Neville. "I was just shocked to hear someone else admit it."

Neville sighed, knowing he wasn't going to convince Harry otherwise, at least not at the moment. "Blaise is going to be back later, with Theodore Nott, they're going to work on the wards around my house, and add a few extra as well," Neville said, wanting to give Harry a warning about that at the very least. "And my Mind Healer friend will be here within the next half hour."

"Who is this friend of yours?" Harry asked, not to thrilled about having to see another Mind Healer, but he couldn't think of any way around it at the moment, not if this person made house calls.

"Her name is Diane, she went to school with us. I met her about the same time I met Theodore and Blaise," Neville told him.

"I wasn't aware that you knew so many people, Neville," Harry said, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"I suppose I owe you a bit of an explanation," Neville said, moving further into the room, grabbing the chair next to the desk and pulling it over to the bed so he could sit down and explain things to Harry.

"An explanation would be appreciated," Harry said.

"Blaise, Theo, Diane, and at least two others that you probably won't ever meet, all of them were in Slytherin, they were a huge help to us, during seventh year when a lot of us started going into hiding. We couldn't always get out to get food, and when the number of us grew, keeping everyone fed got a bit harder, and then with people getting injured," Neville sighed, running a hand through his hair. "They helped us a lot, they were my spies inside Slytherin, and Theo nearly got himself in serious trouble by sneaking us healing potions and bandages when he could," Neville explained.

"Oh..." was all Harry could say, he didn't know what else to say. Harry had thought that he had been told about everything that happened in the school while he was roaming around the country with Ron and Hermione, and he hadn't realised that so many details had been left out. They had all be fighting a the war, and they had all be affected by it, whether they were in school or not.

"They're not the easiest people to get along with, but you kind of get used to them after a while. Blaise and Theo have their own business, building wards around people's houses. Theo is really good at protection charms, and Blaise's side business is potions; I grow the plants he needs and we share an equal cut of the income, though mine mostly goes to maintaining the greenhouse," Neville said.

Harry didn't know what to say as he looked at Neville. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same small first year Harry had met all those years ago, who couldn't remember anything, and was terrified of their Potions Professor.

"Hello? Neville are you home?" a voice called from downstairs, and Harry blinked, looking toward his still open door, then back to Neville who had stood up and walked to the door.

"I'm upstairs, Diane! Harry and I will be right down!" Neville called back, before turning to look at Harry. "Just one session with her, Harry. If you don't like her, we'll find you another Mind Healer," Neville promised.

Harry let out a long sigh. Standing up from his bed, he decided to just get this over with so he could retreat back to his room and suffer in solitude.

TBC

I know it has been months since I have posted anything for this story. But this one, along with all the other fics I am working on, are never going to be abandoned, it may take a while between updates, with how much writing I have to get done, and not enough time to get it all done. Because let's face it, life gets in the way, and I don't have enough time as I would like to get writing done. However, as September gets closer, some of my 'darker' fics are going to be getting more attention. So, Shattered Soul, Just to See you Smile, and Hidden Truths of an Innocent Soul will be seeing a bit more attention soon.


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